My Search For The Impossible
by LycoX
Summary: A reflective and brooding Barry Allen after getting his back broken by Zoom makes a return to his blog of the Impossible to take his mind off things.


**My Search For**

 **The Impossible**

 **Disclaimer: I own nothing but what you see here. Since it seems Barry's blog about the Impossible has apparently vanished since it hasn't been mentioned since the beginning of season 1, I figured I'd bring it back. And it seems the site is having issues today/tonight in regards to reviews. Hopefully that gets fixed up real soon.**

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 **November 15th, 2015**

 _Its been awhile since I've updated 'My Search For the Impossible' blog and I'm sorry for that. I truly am. Its just that so much has happened since I woke up from a 9 month long coma thanks to lightning after the Particle Accelerator blew. An event that changed so many lives and made the Impossible seem so much more realer than ever. You all know i've been obsessed about finding the Man in Yellow that killed my mother and the unwavering faith in my father that he wasn't the one killed my mom. Something I'm sure you all know about by now at this point since he's free from prison now that the Man in Yellow has been taken down permanently. A fact I am forever thankful for to be honest as it means I can move on with my life._

 _Even if it does sound pretty messed up..._

Barry stopped there for a few minutes as he sat alone in his bedroom at the West house. The past few days had been rather hard for him since his back had been broken by Zoom during their fight and he was feeling like it was the lowest he'd ever been in his life. And he'd thought the lowest had been when dealing with the losses of Ronnie and Eddie but he'd been proven wrong. He wondered if something else would happen in the future that would be more than this was and Barry knew that line of thinking just wasn't any good to be thinkng about. He'd gotten some advice from Oliver over bad injuries and tough criminals and the Speedster had truly appreciated it.

 _And now… Here I am at another moment in my life where things aren't too great. I can barely walk after what happened and its honestly scary. My doctor thinks I'll recover in time but a part of me is scared I may not ever be able to truly walk again without some kind of help. I'm sure you all know about the new Speedster out there who pretty much put a beat down on the Flash himself. That guy is scary creepy._

Not to mention stronger and faster as well. But he wasn't going to tell them that.

 _That new speedster is the reason I am the way I am now as I was an unfortunate soul to be in his way when he was parading the Flash around like some sort of trophy. I mean really, what sort of sicko does something like that!? You know that has to put a dent on someone's confidence, I know it would me that's for sure. I kjust hope though that the Flash will find a way to recover from this and take that guy down before he hurts anybody else. Intentionally or not._

Barry debated about whether or not to say anything on if the Accelerator changed him like it did anybody else after it blew since most in the city were still making up their minds about them. That and he wasn't sure how Patty would take it even if she did have a mixed opinion about Meta-Humans. Thinking on it for a few minutes more, he figured what the heck and would talk about it anyway and deal with the reactions later. As it is, its not like he had shown himself to be dangerous after all.

 _I mentioned earlier about the STAR Labs Particle Accelerator and its exploding making the Impossible seem that much more real. And to be honest, it really and truly has. We've got people out there with powers that quite a few have been mis-using. And whether or not the Flash is a by-product of that explosion is unknown but I don't really care as the guy's doing what he can to help people. Something that's just really fantastic. But I will say this, I am one of those who was affected by the explosion, and I don't just mean being put into a 9 month coma and missing out on a lot of things. The catch up on all that was not fun either let me tell you!_

 _But I am not mis-using what I have and I am still the same Barry Allen, the searcher of the Impossible. I won't say what it is I can do as its embarrassing and not something I care to use all that much. Heck I can't think of anyone who would want to use something like that either to be honest! Hopefully with my admitting this, none of you will see me any differently. But… If it happens… It happens and I'll deal as best I'm able too as I always do. I'll admit though that writing all this and even admitting that is helping my mood a lot._

 _As always, the search for the Impossible continues…_

Debating whether or not to publish it, Barry finally decided to go ahead and run with it come what may. He let out a breath after hitting publish and it wasn't long before several comments came up.

 _MizzWest: Great to see this updated Bear! N go u for revealing that secret! N no matter wat, we have ur back!_

 _IamOliverQueen: It is commendable that you would reveal that information Barry. And I truly wish you all the best as you recover from your ordeal._

 _ButterStuff: DOOD! You done outed yuirself! Totally amazing man! But come on bro, you gotta tell us what you can do!_

 _MrsBiblins: Oh dearie, to out yourself like that is unfathomable. I'm not sure if its worse then the gay crisis we have going on now or what. But simply unfathomable._

Well someone's off his Christmas card list…

 _OlJoe: I'm proud of you for being willing to admit that son. And just know Iris and I have your back. And so does everyone else who cares about you._

 _TheSpivoteer: Oh Gawd! Barry! I'm so sorry to hear what happened to u! No wonder u haven't been saying much to me! I don't care if u are a meta-human or not and don't think for a second I'm not coming over after I send this. Ur MY guy!_

 _Butterstuff: Ooh man! Ya girl gon' take good care of ya! Don't even sweat nothin' else bro!_

Barry couldn't help but laugh over that and was grateful as can be for Patty. He also couldn't help but love her user name as it was just really cute. She probably would try to talk him into showing her his gift and he had no doubt it would probably be somewhat fun when she tried. Especially with what he had in mind for said 'gfit'.

 _WeTheSTARS: Cisco and I are with you all the way Barry. Never forget that. And I hope coming out like that won't cause you trouble. Yeah man, I hope that too but we got your back no matter what!_

 _AtThePark: I'm sorry for what you're going through Barry! And I hope you get better real quick! Still can't believe I made out with… Well… You know!_

 _CapSingh: So long as your 'ability' does not cause problems in your work for us I don't care what it is. Take all the time you need to get better Allen._

And when Patty showed up ten minutes later? Well he proved himself right in his line of thinking about Patty. The soul searing kisses were the best and her doctor/nurse routine was definitely not something to complain about either! Certainly left him with a smile on his face! Patty did in fact get a good giggle fest out of his chipmonk voice and hearing her laugh like that was something of a balm on his soul. Barry was grateful for her and all those in his life who cared about him as he knew he would get through this latest trial in his life just fine with them in his life.

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 **Author's Notes: May there be much enjoyment of this one! R and R!**


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